Its been a while since I last blogged I hardly remember when was the last time I poured my thoughts here. Autumn term have been amazing so far, chilly but it’s my kind of weather so no complaints there. In terms of workload, it’s been crazy juggling between getting the jobs done and actually having a life but it’s something I’m getting used to. The first few weeks of term I basically ignored meal times so I can use that time to do my work (thank god for takeaways and friends who love me enough to cook for me). But nowadays I’m getting better at managing my schedule and making ‘me time’ once in a while so I don’t go crazy.
It crossed my mind how a few months back I was afraid of so many things. Afraid to start over, worried about the extra responsibilities of the roles I carry this year, about my studies being in final year and all but what really bothered me was not having that support system I used to have these past few years. I keep having to remind myself that what I went through is possibly a small tiniest bit issue as against some tragedy happening around the world where people suffer a hundred times worst or more. But as I move on, taking one day at a time I started realizing that my worries were irrelevant. I know this is probably too early to say but the things I thought were impossible for me to carry, I do it just fine now. And I’m happy, happy to be able to stand on my own, to not be defined by others and be independent in the things I do. Believing in myself made things I thought impossible possible. It gave me that freedom to believe in myself rather than restrict my capabilities.
So I thought you should know this too, that nothing is impossible although it feels like it at times. You thought the loss, especially death would make living impossible but then you learn to live. You breathe and find that courage to survive because life is indeed bittersweet. You think working hard is useless because it’s not getting you anywhere but in time you’ll see that it actually does. It brings you to places you’d never imagine. You think it’s impossible to dream such dreams but if you believe in yourself, one day that dream will be possible. Imagine the things you can achieve if you believe in yourself instead of saying it’s impossible. Would we still be the same person? Or would we be someone that constantly improve and challenge our limits so we can achieve further? I choose to believe that the world is full of opportunities which is yet to be discovered and as a person we wouldn’t know who we truly are untill we explore all the possibilities life has to offer. So believe in yourself and believe it’s possible rather than saying it isn’t 🙂